No, really. Ben is teaching me how to fish. It's sort of an early morning meditation, standing at the lakeside and listening to the birds get all thrilled that today is really happening. Before you start, I know; I've already said how boring fishing is... maybe not in this blog, but at some point I've thought it, so it's probable I've also said it, given that most of my thoughts fall out of my mouth. (Insert warranted apologies here.)
It started with Ben taking Ving fishing because he had never been. I put on my biggest Jackie O. shades and a gigantic sun hat and sat on the shore with Ruth, Ving's mom. She and I talked about food. Ving eventually got bored and said so to me, to which I naturally replied, "You're too smart to get bored. What are you going to do now?" I'd be the most irritating parent ever. Ving went for an exploratory walk around the tiny, man made lake.
The guys caught no fish from the lake, but an old (really old) man walked up and gave us a trout which Ving was vehemently opposed to taking home, and which he insisted on calling Howard. After Ving's protests to "Save Howard," the men had a frank discussion on naming one's dinner, vegetarianism (Ving enjoys my meatloaf muffins and, of course, bacon), and relying on other people to do the dirty work of killing animals that you want to eat but then protesting the killing. He's a very sophisticated kid with a sharp mind. Throwing himself into the company of two grown ups (egad! that's us!) who question everything will either ignite his mind further or exhaust and bore him... we'll see.
Ben and I pan fried Howard in a mix of cultured butter and coconut oil with a sprinkling of salt and pepper. I forgot to take Howard's picture until we had half-devoured him, so he's not looking so pretty, but he was delicious.
Life has funny ways of teaching you unexpected things about yourself without you realizing it's happening. I suppose a good teacher is like that. What I thought was a continuation of our nine-year-old neighbor wanting to spend every waking moment exploring our weird little desert lives turned out to be a realization that my interest in harvesting our food extends to meat (and yes, all you fake-o "vegetarians" out there, fish is not a vegetable. A Howard has to die every time you chow down on a fish stick or a bagel with lox. Lox is (are?) delicious, but let's be clear about what we're actually eating. Fish is meat).
And so the acts of (almost) catching the fish, killing it (yes, that was an important part of the process, also part of Ben's discussion with Ving and a topic of our own spirited conversation later), cleaning it, cooking it, and then finally being nourished by this tender creature all contributed to a deeper appreciation of the food we are lucky enough to eat.
It's graphic, sure. It does remind me that we are sometimes, in our most basic needs, not much more than animals in the food chain. But we are capable of such gratitude when we take the time. We have this incredible capacity to understand what we are taking from the world and our responsibility to care for the spaces and creatures that nurture us. I'm not saying I'm a great environmentalist or anything--I mostly am an embarrassingly uninformed American consumer of plastic-wrapped goods that have been diesel-trucked across the country. My "swords into plough shares" garden is trying really hard, and we are sprouting micro-greens and wheatgrass like mad in the kitchen. It's SO fun.
We start where we are. We do what we can in this moment. We keep learning how to do it better one bite at a time. Maybe you can grow or catch your dinner--that's super exciting. Maybe you have access to a co-op that sells locally grown vegetables and pasture-raised meats--lucky, right? Maybe the most you can do right now is just pause for a minute and thank your cheeseburger because it was alive before and now it's not, and it's not because it is on your plate nourishing your body and giving you life, and honoring that is one step in the right direction.
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Now for gratuitous food pictures and random desert hilarity. We were at Sears looking for drill bits. Ben is working with metal. I'm pretty smitten with him and it--it's a beautiful medium, and it sparks!
He found this crude hunk of steel that was once a viable tool at the junk bazaar where sometimes we also get fresh eggs that the owners bring from their farmer neighbor and we pet their black lab, Lola. This chunk was $1.00. At the time I thought we paid too much.
But then he did this with it, and had the fortunate good sense to take before and after shots:
Right, Sears. The photo is a little fuzzy because I was running toward this guy, trying to sneak up behind him to get a better picture of his outfit. The desert is full of this stuff. No joke. If you can't make it out, let me paint it for you with a thousand or so words and a handful of numbers: 6'3", balding, lots of lengthy and voluminous suede fringe, baggy jeans tucked into tall cowboy boots. A wondrous vision. I'm sure he smelled of fresh creosote, which I love.
Food. We're getting there. We've been juicing like maniacs. You'd think it was all just meat, meat, meat around here, but this is how we start the day.
Yesterday was beets, kale, carrots, ginger, turmeric, garlic, and a couple little grapefruits we got from the neighbor's tree. People grow citrus trees and cactus like mad in this town.
After juice, I throw the pulp in the food processor with some almond meal, an egg, herbs, olive oil, and chia seeds and I make a veggie flatbread out of it. Ben calls it peel 'N eat space dinners because he loves anything that has an 'N in it, especially if it is something 'N more. I call it veggie board because it's just funny to give something delicious a horrifyingly unappealing name. Like lard.
Other random foods we have been eating: tacos from the taco truck (when we dropped off the giant moving truck, we loaded our bikes in and then rode them home), eggs with leeks and bacon (a staple), dried and soaked shiitake mushrooms (next batch will be ground up with the veggie juice pulp for mushroom veggie burgers), brats with homemade ruby sauerkraut and crispy fried scallions, and a spicy, briny batch of fermented cauliflower, carrot, scallion, garlic, and jalapeño pickles. I'm so hungry right now.
